Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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