I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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