Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
