first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
