she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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