Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
