i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
