whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
