the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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