I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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