you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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