Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You pole danced in your parka.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
