it wasn't lemon gatorade
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
