Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
