smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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