what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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