My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
