I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
