We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
