So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
