I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
