whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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