i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
