Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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