BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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