Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
