her vagine was all disorganized.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
