Screwed.edu
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
