I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
