she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
