I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
