Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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