guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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