hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Ladies don't puke and tell
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
