Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
