very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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