You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
