I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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