I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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