Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
