Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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