She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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