tell your sister to shave her snatch
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
