What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
How does one acquire holy water?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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