i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
