Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
