Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
