My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
