Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
