I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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