I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
