I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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